Riverpedia archive - 11/15/2020

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Coach Cuomo

An irreverent, fictional take on me from Riverchatters. They like to make up stories about me being a depraved high school gym teacher and coach. Think Bad Santa meets Coach Carter with a splash of Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle Rico.

This running gag happened after chatters saw my long hair, headband, clipboard, and mustache during a Tiktok live. Some other alleged attributes of my alter ego include a whistle, extra short gym shorts, knee high tube socks, and a penchant for stretching. Groovy. As chatter Evangeline coined, "Squad's out, quads out."

The chatters claim I like to make them run laps and always talk about how I could've gone pro, instead of playing at Bennigan's on the weekends. Reportedly fired from last school due to inappropriate conduct. Can be found during my breaks smoking and/or drinking in the school parking lot outside my van with a "Van Weezer" spray painted design on the side.

Here's some examples of what my alter ego looks like:

Riverscuomo coachcuomo.gif Riverpedia coachcuomo2.gif


( Last edited by Julit375 at 2020-11-15 03:31 AM utc )

Songs by users of riverscuomo.com


(Rivers the links don’t work on the account page. It seems to not recognize the syntax like it does here, so the links don’t appear as links but text only.)

Sugarcubes - 10101 (Will the Starship)

M3D - I Don't Know Your Name (Demo)

Dan (bleed) - Joan of Arc (Demo)

Daniel Gasparini - Shake It Out

omelettetdq3z - Fern

BenevolentDonut - Colette

( Last edited by Dan at 2020-11-15 04:23 AM utc )