|This is a joke page. List of joke pages.
|c. 2003–present (missing since 2009)
|Amorphous Records page
Blantiss Fliangshemp is the mysterious executive director of Amorphous Records. Very little information about his history or relationship with the bands of Amorphous Records is available to the public.
Blantiss Fliangshemp first made his presence known as early as the inception of the modern Amorphous Records website. He is the only Amorphous Records staff mentioned on the site's contact page; his role described as "musings and decrees from the Executive Director of Amorphous Records".
On multiple occasions, Fliangshemp has voiced his personal opinions regarding the music industry as well as the albums and bands on his label. In a section of the site's contact page originally titled "Blantiss speaks out!", there is an open letter to Wired Magazine (dated 2/8/03) scathing the publication for its corporate views regarding the music industry. Pat Finn, the lead singer of Organic Mechanic (who released music under the Amorphous Records label) responded to this in his own letter (dated 2/14/03) stating his agreement with Fliangshemp while simultaneously calling him a "crackpot" and someone who "must be stopped". Another letter from Fliangshemp, titled "untitled decree, 9/29/04: (possible rebuttal to 2/14/03 letter below)", was added the site. It is written in broken English with inconsistent formatting, and is seemingly in direct response to Finn's letter, despite being written over a year and a half later. Notably, Fliangshemp claims that "you Mr. Finn are behind in your payments".
Fliangshemp seems to have access to and knowledge regarding the obscure Skuraiipeare album, Snow Lust. It is likely he played a major role in the compiling of the album, being the executive director of the label. He also leaves a brief review/description of the album on the catalog page (something done only for this release).
Special announcement, 2/09: If anyone has any information pertaining to the wherabouts of Blantiss Fliangshemp, please contact the authorities immediately. He should be considered unarmed and extremely stimulating.
As of 2024, there have been no further updates on Fliangshemp's location, and his current status remains unknown.
Letter to Wired Magazine
I suppose I have only myself to blame for thinking that "Wired" isn't just another corporate
ho-bag. The articles on "The Fall of the Music Industry" were bereft of vision for the future,
instead focusing on the psuedo-problem of media industry cash losses due to not being able to
exploit musicians and their fans for the biggest net return.
What about the effect of taking corporations out of music? Artist run internet labels?
the gameboy music scene? Sony and their ilk never had a place in the creative process and I know
I'm not the only person who will be stoked to see them out of the content business.
MP3's are the new democratized radio. The big labels are crying because they can't
shove schlock down our throat till we buy. Everybody gets to listen to whatever they want and
support the bands that they are fans of. It will probably be the end of Britney Spears, because
nobody can actually like that stuff without media coercion.
Oh, and did everybody forget that MP3's are compressed files, that are sonically
inferior to c.d. 16 bit audio, vinyl or magnetic tape? What about the ecological advantages of
distributing music through the internet? Not having to manufacture and ship all those crappy
c.d.'s saves a lot of resources.
There is a lot more to the music business than profit and loss, and it's journalism
like this that propogates music as another product for a consumeristic society that values the
ability to sell over all else.
"Blantiss Fliangshemp is a major crackpot and he has absolutely no right to represent amorphousrecords
or any of the people on the label. I agree with what he's saying, but he must be stopped"
---patrick finn, lead singer, organtic mechantic
I m n ethereal presence u cannot d nigh.
I live in your computer. I m an nerd.
your songs are made by computer,
and then you give them up to the entropy of
THE CyBERWEB !!!
DUHN DUHN DUHN !
you cannot, and willn't remain in control
of the domain you intellectually try to homestead,
because that act has been repealed,
and the free land is now a fee land,
and you Mr. Finn are behind in your payments.
Unfortunately I am now lost at sea on The Golden Hind,
but you can send a money order to Karl.
You forgot to wish him happy birthday
and now you must face corporate retribution.
Love- Blantiss fliangshemp
"What is Skkkraipr? The guardians of a lost culture? Madmen? Songs about Grandma Kluskie's ram's milk and molded cabbage chips are filled with an intensity that I sense today's jaded culture would "get into". Kluskinsutch and Gootch's unique and bizarre cultural backround permeates the music which is forced into a western model. The result is confusing and bizarre, but the adaptation of the 4/4 time signature brings the classic compositions of Ackhtennsfjyordland into the realm of intelligibility. They can be filed under: alt rock, world music, techno, new wave, disco and heavy metal. I look forward to getting them into a real recording studio."
executive director, Amorphous Records
|by Pat Finn
A link on the Amorphous Records website labelled "(click here to hear "Blantiss' Theme".)", added to the site sometime around June 2003, lead to a .mp3 download of "Blantiss' Theme". The significance of this song, the background behind creation, and the reason why Fliangshemp has his own theme remain unexplained. While uncredited, the song is known to have been created by Pat Finn.
Much in the same way that great works of Shakespeare have the authenticity of their authorship examined, so does "Blanitss' Theme." Scholars have speculated that Finn couldn't have written the song for two of reasons: (1) Koch and Finn have attempted to take credit for all of Blantiss' achievements as Executive Director of Amorphous Records, and could be simply stealing creative credit for another one of his great accomplishments, and (2) Blantiss would have wanted to stir up some shit like this.
- Amorphous Records. "contact". Archived from the original on February 10, 2003, https://web.archive.org/web/20030210003523/http://www.karlophone.com/amorphous/blantiss.html.
- Amorphous Records. "contact". Archived from the original on August 24, 2010, https://web.archive.org/web/20100824055111/http://www.karlophone.com:80/amorphous/blantiss.html
- Amorphous Records. "contact". Archived from the original on June 22, 2003, https://web.archive.org/web/20030622154333/http://karlophone.com:80/amorphous/blantiss.html.
- Koch, Karl. (April 3, 2022). Weezerpedia Discord server. Archive of the original message, Weezerpedia Discord Q&A with Karl Koch - April 2022.